Sunday, April 22, 2007

Tales from the Istana - Part 17 (Sammyboy)

by scrobal
22 April 2007

130416.45

Part 17 - the salary issue

Behind the Guardhouse - 28C, high humidity and the smell of cut grass in the air.

Old Man: Why the long face, Bro. Hven't seen you for awhile.


Pres: I am not happy and its obvious that the President's office has been made use of.


Old Man: You mean the salary


Pres: Yes. When the President's salary was raised to 2.8M, I thought it was because no one wanted the office after the last presidential election debacle but I had no idea that you guys wanted to raise your salary.


Old Man: Be realistic bro. Thats politics. We floated the idea and we did not get any resistance so it was the next step. At the end, we need to attract and keep our limited talent.


Pres: You know last month I went back to my home in Ceylon Road and some idiot threw eggs at my front door. My wife was so mad. I placated her by telling that the Canadian Geese had their compass distorted due to global warming and couple of eggs fells on their way to the summer grounds.


Old Man: And she bought it.


Pres: Don't change the subject. You know that I have been getting the middle finger from the postman to the rojak seller at Joo Chiat food centre. Even the Vietnamese hookers along Joo Chiat give me the evil eye.


Old Man: Don't complain, you also got increase and nice one at that.


Pres: You are fucking senile. I am 89 years old this year. What am I going to do with 2.8M. My day is made when I get up in the morning and my dick does a mari kita. It is now as frequent as the Krakatuo eruption. As the president, I can't go to nightclub, go massage or even go casino when it opens. For $3000, I can eat what I like for a whole month and still go lots of spare change.


Old Man: Ok, lets be serious. What is wrong paying our talent what they deserve.


Pres: You want to be serious, lets then be fucking serious, you arsehole.


Old Man: Hey Bro, watch your tone. Why so angry.


Pres: I already have sleepless mights thinking about what I did during the Japanese occupation and now this.

Old Man: Lets hear your arguments


Pres: I am not going to waste my time with arguments that are obvious and that has already been raised by the general public and foreign press.


Old Man: Fine, I thought I heard it all.


Pres: For starters, you mentioned Hen, Viv and Balaji salaries in their previous vocation. How about zeros like Yeo Guat Kwang and the majority who actually got a windfall. Lets be open about this. Are you telling me that they were actually earning more. That guy can't even get a job that he has to rely on CASE. What about the leeches that are paid by NTUC and various GLCs. Why can't they find a job and still be an MP. Remember the best performing MPs did not rely on tax payers. Cheng Back, Soo Khoon were outstanding, they ran their own business and practise.


Old Man: Lets stick to the benchmark that we set.


Pres: In case you are not aware, the man in the street has never accepted the benchmark. Those are vocations that come with risk. It involves professional and entreprenuerial risk. You are a surgeon, you carry out the wrong procedure, you are dead. You are lawyer and you give the wrong advice, you are a goner. There are bodies that marshal their professions. Who marshals the PAP. Also bear in mind, only a select few in the resepctive professions earn that high. When they fail, do they get to join Keppel, are they given a job with NTUC, so ask yourself, is it a fair comparison.


Old Man: You yourself know that it hard to get good people to take up politics.

Pres: That because you threathen every interested person with your knuckle duster and silly golf rules. Obviously the talent pool where politics is concerned is empty. It is clearly monopolistic behaviour. You hide behind the very rules and conditions that you create, you build insurmountable barriers and then you cry wolf that no one wants to venture into politics. Only the desperate like Raymond Lim will do a wayang with Roundtable and its non-partisan crap and wait for the invitation.


Old Man: I don't agree


Pres: Obviously you won't agree. Let me take another argument. How about computing your total benefits like taxes paid by expats. Lets total up the costs of providing you the Istana, golf course, gurkhas for both Istana and your other house. A ballpark figure will come to a couple of millions. Let not forget SIA.


Old Man: Hold your horses. I paid for the entire SIA costs to bring my wife back.


Pres: We all know that. Its the direct cost. Will SIA do the same if you are the best paid lawyer, doctor or stockbroker. As far as SIA is concerned they got better things to do then to provide special services. They do it for you because of who you are and you earned it. Thats the trapping of the office. No one begrudges you. Now if you want to play by the market then everything needs to follow the same principle.


Old Man: You can;t expect the PM and the cabinet to work in a commercial building.


Pres: You always claiming to be above board and transparent. Reveal to the people of Singapore the actual costs of housing you and letting you enjoy the trappings of your office. Let them decide.


Old Man: Bro, you are making me a sad man. I am truly hurt. This, from you of all persons, I never expected. Did I not build Singapore. Did I not make Singapore proud. You know me, I gave up a lucrative career for the what I believed in.


Pres: No one is taking anything from you. You deserve the recognition and the accolades. The first 3 decades were marvellous. But ask yourself this. what did the PAP do in the last and this decade. Why the sudden need to pay so high. The fact that we have the highest paid politicians in the world should tell you that something is wrong. Did the rest of world get it wrong. Did the Scandinavians get it wrong.


Old Man: It my blood and sweat bro.


Pres: Now its like you are believing your own bullshit. I firmly believe that there are good and outstanding people out there who can get the job done. Unless you believe that you spent the 4 over decades screwing the education system and the culture. Which is it. You can't have your cake and eat it.


Old Man: What about protecting our reserves. Whose is going to do it.


Pres: You are talking as though there we never had any reserves for the first few decades. Suddenly there seems to be an urgent reason for this to be looked after.


Old Man: You know very well that we are at the cross roads. We take the wrong turn and we are kaput.


Pres: The foreign press and I heard about your kaput theory a dozen times over the years. Maybe we have to learn the hard way. Maybe its time for you to take a break and see if your legacy has a firm foundation. As it is, Singapore is a single party system like many that we see in Africa. If PAP becomes greedy, you and I know that we are doomed as there are no safety brakes, no alternatives or no recourse built in. Its the PAP or bust.


Old Man: You know that I went into this not for popularity but to get the job done.


Pres: Alamak, except for Sularno and few crackpots, the other leaders are the same. Driven by ideology and the desire to help their fellow man.


Old Man: What is your point.


Pres: The majority of world leaders are the same. Many were capable men of finance and industry. Some were born with the silver spoon, yet they chose public office for greater good. Money is not a factor. Your argument about Clinton is frankly laughable. Why don't you ask Hen to gone on the lecture circuit after his term. Obviously he will get peanuts as the markets will determine his value. The fact remains that during his presidency he received much less than any of the PAP ministers.


Old Man: Bro. late in the night, time for supper.


Pres:Sorry, no appetite. I am heading back, good night.


Old Man: Jesus! Why so like that.


Pres: Look, one of these days my wife will realise that the thing about the Canadian geese is bullshit. I then have to raise my sarong and run for my life. In the meantime, I have to find space to breathe and eating is not in the immediate agenda. So spare me.



Thursday, December 07, 2006

Managing political dissent

By Catherine Lim
Jan 20, 2006
The Straits Times

FOR a small island state eager to take its place among the most successful nations in the free world of practising democracies, one would have expected to see a steady increase in political freedom, an ascending line from its virtual non-existence in the rough early years of brute survival, to the emergence of incomplete but distinct forms in a still evolving ethos, to an end point of full functioning in a mature society.

But there has been no such clear path. Instead, we see only a thin ragged line, rather like a small weakly meandering stream that sometimes disappears into the ground.

This sputtering along of the political process is in sharp contrast to the smooth steep trajectories of other areas of development, notably in the economic area, where growth can only be described in breathless superlatives; and even in those areas where the Government has been traditionally conservative, for instance, education and the arts.

Hence while the winds of change are sweeping everywhere, while the clarion call to be creative, to think outside the box, is heard everywhere, the political domain remains a backwater, with every sign of drying up altogether.

This glaring incongruity has not gone unnoticed. It has led the dispassionate observer, both foreign and local, to qualify every praise of Singapore, no matter how lavish, with a polite ‘but’, as in:

‘Oh yes, Singapore is a model worthy of emulation by other societies but - ‘; ‘Oh yes, I am very proud to be a Singaporean except for this fear thing that is still around, you know what I mean?’

The contrast has also led to an embarrassing anomaly. While Singapore is consistently ranked among the top three in global surveys on economic growth, business friendliness and so on, it is placed with North Korea, Myanmar and Iran when it comes to individual or press freedom.

Why is there this continuing government reluctance to open up at a time when it can well afford to do so?

There are three possible reasons. The first is historical continuity. This policy is part of an ongoing and enduring legacy from the Lee Kuan Yew era of tough rule.

The second reason is strategic. Tight control of even minor political issues means pre-emption of major ones, which, as the Government has always maintained, Singapore cannot afford, with its small size and dependence on the rest of the world to make a living.

The third reason is psychological - a natural distaste of a serious-minded and purposeful leadership for the noise and rowdiness of political debate and dissent.

Here is a government that has made no secret of an almost pathological dislike of polemics, posturing and populist rhetoric.

This aversion to political debate is the reason not only for the Government’s continuing reluctance to make any change to its quiescent, inactive state but the reason for the desire to make that state permanent. Such a desire cannot obviously be openly articulated to an increasingly sophisticated and vocal electorate.

So what the Government has been doing quietly is to develop a strategy by which it can simultaneously achieve two objectives that appear to contradict each other: on the one hand, reassuring the electorate through a generous slew of opening-up measures; and on the other, making sure that nothing has changed.

The first objective can be made as overt as possible; the second is necessarily covert.

The result is a dual model of managing political dissent that is unique to the PAP leadership. It comprises both the soft, gentle, consultative approach of the Goh Chok Tong rule and the hard, stern no-nonsense approach of the Lee Kuan Yew rule; the soft approach being at the forefront, open for all to see, and the hard approach being in the background, hardly visible but clearly the prevalent one.

Hence, while the many official channels by which Singaporeans can freely express their views - the Feedback Unit, Speaker’s Corner, public forums - are all highly publicised, the warning of stern government action against those who dare abuse the channels by going beyond the out-of-bounds markers is only occasionally uttered, and even then in quick, brief response to direct questions.

These out-of-bound markers have never been clearly spelt out, but continue to operate as a broad metaphor, clearly to allow the Government its own interpretation of what is acceptable and what is not in political discourse.

By now, Singaporeans have a general idea of the permitted scope of criticism. The most readily tolerated is criticism of non-political issues, especially bread-and-butter matters, for example those related to CPF (Central Provident Fund), foreign maids and so on.

The somewhat grudgingly tolerated is criticism of government style, and the least tolerated is criticism of government competence and integrity.

The action taken against the transgressors of these markers has really been no more than a sharp and stern rebuttal of the criticism. But it works because in a small society that has been so long dominated by a powerful, implacable government, even this can create very real fear.

When young people, invited to public forums to speak their minds freely, talk about a still pervading atmosphere of fear, they mean exactly this.

This model is useful to the Government in the handling of criticism because, while the evidence for the soft approach is widespread, tangible and visible, the evidence for the hard approach is just this general sense of fear, hardly definable and thus easily challenged by the Government.

Hence the leaders can point to any number of instances of political opening up, usually supported by examples of the opening up of non-political areas such as the famous bar-top dancing issue, and say: ‘Fear? What fear? Look around you, see the many letters in the newspapers criticising the Government. Has anybody gone to jail for that?’

If pressed for a clear statement on how it will deliver on its promise to open up, the Government is apt to respond with a terse assertion that it will not necessarily follow the Western model that young people and journalists seem so enamoured of, but will instead develop its own model.

Overall, this dual model is a very sophisticated strategy of containment, control and manipulation, by which the Government can have the political cake and eat it too: give every appearance of political freedom but ensure it is not the real thing, and meanwhile, behind the scenes, work at getting rid of it altogether.

Now, getting rid altogether of political dissent is something abhorrent to the free world and the Government is not about to provoke condemnation from a global community to which it is so comfortably, securely and advanta- geously linked.

But suppose it does the unimaginable, the truly ingenious. Suppose it turns things around and proves to the free world that this very condemnable act can lead to greater stability and prosperity for the society. Suppose it proves that dispensing with a major tenet of democracy can actually save democracy from itself.

The truth is that this is already happening. When the Singapore Government confidently tells inquisitive journalists and critics that it isdeveloping a model of governance that is geared specifically to the needs and aspirations of the people, it is in effect showcasing an alternative to the Western model of democracy. And it is succeeding to the extent that certain experimenting and developing democracies in Asia and Africa that are very anxious to wean or distance themselves from Western prototypes, but still stay within the fold, may look to the Singapore model.

This is not such a far-fetched scenario, for the Singapore model has three features that are likely to authenticate and legitimate it in the eyes of the global community:

# First, tight political control is motivated not by megalomania, greed or corruption but their very opposite: a genuine concern for the welfare of the society. Admittedly, not even the harshest critic of the PAP can doubt its passionate commitment to the nation.

# Second, the method of getting rid of political dissidents is by due process of law or by the simple expedient of marginalising them, a blameless enough method when compared with the brutality so repugnant to the democratic sensibility.

# Third, the sound pragmatism of a model that seeks only solid, practical results surely stands out in a world where ideology and high-sounding ideals have failed to solve problems.

The Singapore Government acts on the conviction that, at the end of the day, what matter most to the people are safety, job security and a peaceful and prosperous life.

Against these primary, urgent imperatives, political freedom is irrelevant or even meaningless. In the insecurity of a world atmosphere created by Sept 11, Sars, terrorism and natural disasters, nobody could agree more.

Indeed, the current high international standing of the Singapore Government is one of the reasons why it is succeeding so well in curbing political dissent at home. For if the world can accord such high praise to the leadership, how can its own people not believe that whatever it is doing must be right and good?

The result is that at no time has the dissident voice been more muted, at no time have political commentators stayed so warily away from the out- of-bounds markers. Political clubs such as the Roundtable have folded up; new ones are not likely to appear. And in an atmosphere of continuing anxiety, there will be continuing self-censorship. The greater the Government’s efforts to raise material prosperity, the more irrelevant and even harmful will the role of the political activist be seen.

And as if to push dissidents even more quickly into oblivion, the Government is working hard to win over potential dissidents, chiefly idealistic young people, by embracing two courses traditionally dear to them.

These are freedom of expression in the arts, and humanitarian concern for the underclass. Hence, the Govern- ment is going all out to create a lively arts scene by allowing bold experimentation in theatre, dance and movie-making. Similarly, it is going all out to help those left behind by the rapid pace of change, especially the poor and the handicapped.

Winning the battle hands down

THE result is spectacular. By giving buzz to a city once described as a cultural desert, and by putting a human face on a society once described as all head and no heart, the Government has taken over all the battles and cut the ground completely from under the feet of its critics.

It has won hands down. Indeed, it is well on its way to achieving its ideal of the Singapore society - one that will always be governed by a group of responsible, honest, hardworking men and women who will ensure utmost probity among themselves, through continuous self-monitoring and self-renewal.

This perfectly efficient and effective leadership is possible only because it need no longer be bothered by raucous dissidents who, at the least, are like small, pesky dogs yapping at the heels and, at the worst, a cancer on the body politic that has to be excised quickly. In this ideal society, the political engagement of the people is minimal, that is, voting wisely and responsibly once every five years and for the rest of the time cooperating with the Government to attain even greater prosperity.

In a troubled world where so much has gone wrong, the Singapore model may yet be a world model and this time without the qualifying ‘but’.

Already, Singapore is being cited as world exemplary on a wide range of achievements, besides its celebrated economic miracle: its quick adaptation to change, its foresight in being among the first to embrace and develop bio-technology, its preparedness in the face of global threats of terrorism and a bird flu pandemic, and its readiness to go to the help of neighbours devastated by natural disasters.

Against such a glowing picture, what I am going to say next will make me a surly wet blanket, a nasty shower of acid rain upon a glorious parade. I firmly believe that a model of governance in which political dissent has little or no role is deeply flawed on two points:

# First, the need for expression can never be suppressed;

# Second, if it is, then it is all the worse for the society.

This need is something natural, inborn, universal, something that defines us uniquely as a species. It has to do with the human sense of self, identity and belonging. It is manifest in all societies, whether full, partial or nascent democracies.

Even in a non-democracy it is not absent; it has simply gone underground and is just waiting for the first chance to surface. It can neither be intimidated into permanent silence nor seduced by material rewards.

It is neither a means nor an end to anything. It simply IS, a force to be reckoned with. Now, if we want to know why, we will have to ask the anthropologist and the evolutionary psychologist who will be able to explain its primordial origins.

Hence, in any society at any time, there will be a small minority of eccentrics, mavericks, rebels and troublemakers, a group certainly not endearing to the government or the majority.

In Singapore, after years of marginalisation, this must be a very, very small group indeed. But it has a crucial role to play. Its dissident voice and contrarian stand are the very yeast to enliven the political dough. Even its unruliness and rambunctiousness are the very genes, though dangerously mutant and rogue, to give new life to a tired species.

Instead of crushing it, the Government should engage it and allow it to play out its role in what ultimately must be a beneficial political education for all. For only through engagement with difference can convictions be strengthened, courage tested and characters moulded. Only in the rough and tumble, the cut and thrust of political battle, can there be the conditions to throw up a political genius who will one day lead the society with vision and courage.

Something akin to these conditions must have thrown up an undisputed visionary and fighter we still have in our midst - Mr Lee Kuan Yew. Obviously, the conditions cannot be replicated, but through a genuine opening up - the operative word is ‘genuine’ - the Government can create the much-needed environment.

Of course, in the short term, there will be the disruptions and dislocations of major change and adjustment, but the long-term outcome is a very positive one - a mature, fully functioning society in which material prosperity is matched by a robust political life, in which the two are seen as richly complementary.

The alternative is a monolithic, undifferentiated society ever making copies of itself, an inbred society of made-to-order leaders and citizens who will be very vulnerable to the predation of more robust competitors from outside.

I am going to finish my exposition on a shockingly pessimistic note. I have come to believe, with a somewhat heavy heart, that even if the Government wants to do something about the problem, it may be a little too late.

Singaporeans have by now become so dependent on the Government for making decisions for us, for thinking for us, and so used to our comfortable lives, that any major change and adjustment will be viewed with alarm.

Instead of going on with my exposition, I present it in the form of a short story, with the title ‘The Experiment’.

——–

The Experiment

AT THE fourth ministerial meeting to discuss the very troublesome young activist Frankie Mah, Minister Supremo asks: ‘Well, what’s the latest?’ There is a barrage of new information: the young rebel has got bolder; his following has grown; at the Speakers’ Corner, he attracts never-before-seen crowds; the Internet is full of excited chatter among young people about how to force the government to give in to the LOD, or the Long Overdue Demand.

‘And what’s that?’ asks Minister Supremo, in his gentle, well-modulated voice. Here, Minister A.H. — for years the minister has been known only by these initials - says angrily: ‘Freedom! Would you believe it? Here are young people free from poverty, squalor, corruption, and they’re clamouring for freedom!’

He gives another angry snort. The other ministers try to calm him down.

‘How long are you going to tolerate this nonsense?’ he asks. ‘Listen. I’ve done some research on the fellow. When he was 16, he cheated in a school exam. When he was 18, he got his girlfriend pregnant. Why don’t we use this info…’

‘No!’ says Minister Supremo firmly. Then he goes on to make the most astonishing announcement: ‘I’m going to say ‘Yes’ to all the demands of Frankie Mah.’

Everyone is astounded. Minister A.H. has fallen off his chair. ‘Yes,’ says Minister Supremo calmly. ‘Frankie Mah is going to get all the freedom he wants.’

The announcement first shocks Singaporeans into speechlessness, then rouses them into a frenzy of rejoicing. At last! At last! Frankie Mah has become a national hero.

In the following days, Singaporeans witness what they had never thought to see in their lifetime. Large crowds carrying placards denouncing the death penalty mass outside Changi Prison. A rambunctious crowd at the Speakers’ Corner repeatedly punch the air with their fists, denouncing this or that government policy. A long procession marches down Orchard Road carrying a banner showing a portrait of Frankie Mah under the word ‘Revolution’.

‘Aren’t you going to do anything?’ shrieks Minister A.H. ‘Yesterday one of them exposed his backside to show an obscene tattoo making fun of the government!’

Minister Supremo lets out a little chuckle. He says reassuringly: ‘Don’t worry, everything will be all right,’ then continues to look outside the window at a crowd gathered under a giant banner bearing a portrait of himself with a Hitler moustache. He listens to Frankie Mah shouting into a megaphone:

‘Hey, hey, Pee-Ay-Pee

Best-ever government in his-tor-ree

Please be our government in perpe-tui-tee!’

The other ministers watch uneasily as he lets out another chuckle.

In the third week, things suddenly change. Large, noisy crowds come out to demonstrate not for but against Frankie Mah. They are in fact petitioning the government to stop him. He is disrupting the peace of Singaporean life.

Only the day before, somebody was badly hurt in a scuffle. Before that, a fight had broken out in a mall, and hooligans had taken advantage of the situation to loot. Piles of litter are left wherever his rowdy supporters meet. Such a thing has never before happened in Singapore.

Minister Supremo receives delegations of Singaporeans urging quick government action. The Association of Parents and Teachers complains that the demonstrations are causing students to play truant. The Moral Society complains that the rude, crude behaviour of the rebels is influencing the young. The Tourism Promotion Society worries that all the mayhem will drive away tourists.

But the Minister is unruffled. ‘I’m waiting,’ he says with serene confidence, adding cryptically: ‘It will come.’

And it comes soon enough, on the 37th day of The Experiment. A huge flood of letters in the newspapers and on the Internet, matched by the largest-ever delegation to the government, all voice the greatest, most urgent concern of Singaporeans: ‘The value of our property is going down!’

Minister Supremo acts. Minister A.H. is jubilant. ‘Throw that scum into jail! Fine him! Cane him!’ But Minister Supremo says: ‘No. I’m going to invite him to tea.’

Frankie Mah appears very nervous as he is shown into the Minister’s office. As soon as he enters, he sees a huge poster with his portrait and the words:

‘Hey, hey, Frank-Kie- Mah

So you thought to have the last hurrah

You just might have gone a little too far!’

Frankie turns deathly pale. Minister Supremo graciously invites him to sit down and have tea and cake. First, the intimidation; then the charm. Frankie is overcome with relief. But he is still a little nervous.

The Minister says affably: ‘That famous tattoo. I saw it on TV, but those kiasu MediaCorp people blocked it out. Tell me about it.’

Frankie tells him. The Minister roars with laughter. Frankie is no longer uneasy. In fact, he feels comfortable enough to ask about something he has always wondered about.

‘Those initials in Minister A.H.’s name. What do they stand for?’

‘Will you promise not to tell anyone if I tell you?’ says Minister Supremo.

‘Yes, of course,’ says Frankie.

‘Well,’ says Minister Supremo. ‘Minister A.H. is a well-meaning chap, but with his outdated ways of thinking, he’s become a real pain. The initials stand for a rude word which I won’t utter, but it rhymes with ‘mass soul’ ‘. Frankie laughs so much he spills his tea.

It is time for him to leave. He is overwhelmed by gratitude. His eyes are shining with joy. From now on, his life will take on a new purpose.

Catherine Lim is a freelance writer. This is excerpted from an address given at the annual seminar of the Institute of Policy Studies last Thursday.

——

3 pillars of sound governance

THE Singapore model has three features that are likely to authenticate and legitimate it in the eyes of the global community:

# First, the tight political control is motivated not by megalomania, greed or corruption but their very opposite: a genuine concern for the welfare of the society.

# Second, the method of getting rid of political dissidents is by due process of law or by the simple expedient of marginalising them.

# Third, the sound pragmatism of a model that seeks only solid, practical results surely stands out in a world where ideology and high-sounding ideals have failed to solve problems.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Tales from the Istana - Part 12 (Sammyboy)

by scrobal
25 November 2006

125046.1

Behind Istana Guardhouse - 11.30pm, 24C, breeze from the NE.

Old Man: Hey, bro, we need to organise our talk cock sessions better. Not good comments from the sammyboy lot.

Pres: Aiyah, we are going to hit 90 soon, what they expect from us. Anyway its a talk cock session.



Old man: Friend, let me remind you that we got image to uphold. Even Choo said our last dialogue was wishy washy.

Pres: Is Choo still addicted to sammyboy.

Old Man: She got nothing to do but also I think she is obsessed with with QXP tarnshing the family name.



Pres: I thought QXP cooled down and its Uncle Yap.

Old Man: Uncle Yap is ok, good heart, really wants to do good for the country but don't know how to go about it.

Pres: Yeah, poor fellow. By the way, heard that hunger strike can drink glucose. That news to me.

Old Man: There we go again, drfiting all over the place. Don't worry, I got this blackberry that has memo features and I have put down the points to discuss.



Pres: Boss, you can't even see the front of your nose, I want to see how you use the blackberry.

Old Man: Shadup and listen Bro, time is not on our side. We need to talk about slums and the GST increase.



Pres: Boss, what slums , where in the 3rd world countries?

Old Man: Bro, right here in singapore. I know, even I got shocked. After Bukit Ho Swee, I thought we cleaned the whole of Singapore.

Pres: What are you talking about boss? Liak bo que man.

Old Man: Did you not hear about the email from the FT that is circulating.

Pres: Where got check email. I just want to retire and you drag me back.



Old Man: This guy wrote an email on an issue and referred as a matter of factly of Outram HDB as a slum. The issue was not the HDB but on another matter but singaporeans who read it, picked it out. The other FTs did not even seem to notice. The shocker was that the FT was from India who had been recently posted here. The Singaporeans were naturally aghast and talked among themselves. Guess what was the verdict.

Pres: What Boss?

Old man: They did agree eventually that HDB neighbourhoods are slowing but surely turning into slums.

Pres : You agree.



Old Man: Nothing to agree bro, just take a walk. It has been slowly creeping up on us that we did not realise it. I knew then that I should not have stepped down. Let this arseholes run this country and they turn our biggest vote catchment area into a slum.



Pres: Keep going boss, this is news to me.

Old Man: You have become an elite and have lost touch with the man in the street.

Pres: But I go to East Coast Parkway

Old man: Because you keep going there, if not one of the penpushers would have turned it into a pasar malam.



Old Man: Just go to any HDB estate. The five foot ways are cluttered. Shop keepers are now displaying good outside their stores. Some have shelfs permanently placed outside. Coffeeshops have extended outside and in somecases are washing their plates and cutlery along pavement. Itinerant vendors are setting up shops along passgeways. Corridors and balconys are now so cluttered even the pigeons have a hard time finding a place to roost for the night. Night markets are common feature, taking up every conceivable space and now encroaching into void decks. Not a blade of grass remains when they leave.



Pres: What the hell are the town councils doing? Shoot the bastards.

Old Man: These guys are constantly dealing with our grassroots leaders who in turn have to please every shopkeeper and businessman. Eventually after saying no, these guys fold. Now that we relaxed the rules on subletting of HDB flats that you now find characters from every 3rd world country coming in.



Pres: Gosh, can't we do something.

Old Man: Bro, I took a lifetime to clean up Singapore, made sure we were spotless, cleared the slums, our waterways, our roads and now we find that the home for the majority of our people are turning into slums. I don't have the energy anymore. So far the newest estates are ok but the rest are going down the drain.



Pres: Are you sure its that bad.

Old Man: Aiyha, Just go to Blk 59, Marine Terrace, Ah Goh's territory, they are washing plates along the walkway. You will be lucky to squeeze through along the shops.



Pres: Now, I get it we are going to increase GST to pay for the cleanup.

Old Man: No lah, don;t you read the papers

Pres: Please, the shitty times. Those guys need to grow balls before I start reading that bullshit.

Old Man: I know, some of them stay in HDB flats and they should know it.

Pres: You got that part wrong. Remember you paid them record salaries that they will caught dead in a HDB flat.



Old Man: Ok, Ok, the GST is to cover the elderly. We are going to have to look after them and the projections for funding are bleak. The questing is whether the funding source is appropriate.

Pres: Why not raise taxes for higher income earners

Old Man: No good, the FTs will leave for HK and lower taxes regimes, our business men will invest elsewhere

Pres: Why don't we cut the pay of all superscale civil by 10%, that would be a massive windfall.

Old Man: Also not a good idea, we spoilt them and its difficult to back track.

Pres: Lets sell the 2 submarines and the annual maintenance fee will go a long way

OldMan: That might help. We may want to sack the dickhead who spent $400K on the renaming exercise and throw his salary in as well.

Pres: Here is a thought, lets get Philip Yeo, Ho Ching and TT Durai. These guys are well known for their financial world.



Old man: You are brilliant. I can see it now. Philip will get an architect to build overnight the world's largest old folks home and call it Floridapolis, TT will have it fully integrated with casinos, clinics, funeral parlours, etc Ho Ching will then get all her american advisors from Goldman Sachs to float the whole thing on the NY stock exchange.



Pres: knowing TT, he will have hubs in every housing estate, all paid for by sponsors and I think I know who the patron is going to be.

Old Man: hehe. Now to see how I can convince Loong.

Pres: Aiyah, just tell Philip. He never ever follows the rule and I don't think he is going to change his spots. Though I can't recall Ho ching ever selling anything before. She is known for buying things and then.......

Old Man: You are right, change of plans.

Pres: What about you.

Old man: Pleasse lah, after Suzhou, nobody believes my bullshit. Sigh!, If only, Keng Swee, Kim Sanand Sui Sen were around, they would know what to do.



Pres: Boss, hungry. stomach rumbling.

Old man: Same here bro, lets head toward Changi point and go for the Nasi Lemak.

Pres: You are talking my language man. How we going to go. No MRT you know.

Old Man: Othman is on the way. We can then stay overnight at Changi Chalet, play sikipauy and then come back early in the morning.

Pres: You are on.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

More Secrets About Mano Sabnani's Resign

by "ShaunSeow"
16 Nov 2006

124167.1

Hello all. This fell onto my lap.

Days after the shocking staff reshuffle in Today, the "resignation" of Mano Sabnani was used as a warning to others in Today to toe the line. On Nov 12, P N Balji and some senior editors were told by Mediacorp Deputy CEO Shaun Seow that Today should tone down its alternative streak at least for the moment until the coast is clear.

During the half hour meeting in the morning, Shaun reiterated that Mediacorp had top-down and bottom-up pressure to remove Mano, who was a lousy people manager. The final straw was Mano's handling of the Mr Brown affair and his anxious decision to terminate Lee Kin Mun's popular weekly column. Mano had over-reacted and misread the government's anger after his experience in the Val Chua incident. As a result of Mano's action, the public became incensed with what they saw was the strong interfering hand of the government in removing their favourite columinist from Today.

The topic then changed to editorial hooks. While no names were mentioned, Shaun said that the angles by certain Today editors during the 2006 General Election were touchy and it should not become a habit. Shaun tried to reason with his increasingly uncomfortable audience that his hands were tied and everybody better play ball or they might suffer an even worse fate than Mano. Mano had at least an ex-gratia payment upon his departure.

Shaun reminded them that the political masters have them sighted and keeping their heads down was sensible.

After the meeting, everyone trooped out with dark looks and a worried Balji, Today's returned founding editor, was frustrated that he had to deal with more morale problems, although Today was already turning profitable.

By afternoon, whispers soon began circulating about their spineless leadership who dare not stand up and insist on editorial independence. Derrick Paulo is one reporter who feels that he might be the next sacrificial lamb. Balji is just the seat warmer for Walter Fernandez, the new number two in Today. Walter is eager to please but is trying not to attract too much attention to himself in Today's management mess. He is bidding his time and letting Balji take the heat.

So, don't expect Today to be like what it was.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Tales from the Istana - Part 11b (Sammyboy)

by scrobal
6 November 2006

122956.1

Behind Istana Guardhouse - 11pm, 24C, cool gentle breeze from SW. Scent of lavendar drifting in the air.

Old Man: Hey man, what you doing here. I thought you would have gone home for the weekend.
Pres: It’s a long story but it has do with Joo Chiat, Vietnamese sluts and my good health.

Old man: What are you talking about about. Don’t tell me she caught you with your pants down.
Pres: No Lah, Boss. Last few weekends when we go back home, my wife kept noticing the Vietnamese streetwalkers walking past our place. Since the Police clampdown, they now operate one street parallel to the length of Joo Chiat. She kept grumbling about how useless I am despite my position. I told her that they are actually foreign talent and in Vietnam if you are a professional, you put heavy make-up and dress is a bit slutty to show your high status.

Old Man: Bro, you the man! Did she buy it.
Pres: She did until my daughter came visiting and gave her the scoop.

Old Man: What happened?
Pres: I tell you what happened. All hell broke loose. She took the payong (umbrella) and thundered towards me. I got to tell you – all the East Coast health walk paid off. You should have seen me, I lifted my sarong in one swift move, and did the dash to Pennefather Road in quick time.

Old Man: Choo normally throws the coffeecup at me but normally I can dodge it, sometimes cannot lah, then you don’t see me in public for couple of weeks.
Pres: So now the Mrs don’t want to go back home until I do something about it. So can we get rid of the streetwalkers.

Old Man: Bro, you got to realize that the World has changed and Singapore has to. 30 Years ago, I used to laugh at Macau . A few seedy casinos and nowehere to go. Guess what, I am not laughing. We are now in the same boat.

Pres: That explains why you have been making some comments that you have never made before.
Old Man: Like what bro.
Pres: The comment about ST carrying the facts and their commentaries. The other comment to the BCC was Thai / Temasek deal.

Old Man: Times are hard bro, not sure what to do.
Pres: The Thai/Temasek thing I understand. One wrong move and your son gets it from his wife and you get yet another coffeecup coming your way from Choo. But the ST thing I can’t understand. It screws your credibility.

Old Man: Its not that bad, they have been ok what?
Pres: Are you mad, boss. There are more balls carriers than balls in that place. You know that everytime I read a commentary from one of the Chua sisters, I keep mumbling to myself “Hit me, hit me”. One day, my wife got fed up, took the umbrella and whacked me on the head. My dentures flew out of my mouth right thru the window and out to the road. That night, no masala chicken for me.

Old Man: We created the monster, now we have to live with it. Don’t worry, the younger generation of journalist have got balls. They have the fibre, the fire and the spine to stand firm. Look at the Kweks and the Pehs. They are our future. Remember one of them told me to retire from cabinet.
Pres: Maybe that explains why some of the assholes are moving to “Today”
Old Man: I can see it for myself. Imagine walking along the corridor and trying to avoid the eyes of the morally correct younger bunch. Scary.

Pres: What about Thai/Temasek affair. Any hope.
Old Man: Fuck these guys. Don’t even know how to feather an engine on fire. Firstly I can’t believe they went and bought a Thai national asset. Will we sell Singtel, Singapore power, PSA, DBS, SIA. If we float it, we will still keep the majority stake. Why the hell did they think that other countries will not get upset if someone get their national asset.

Pres: What would you do to fix this, boss.
Old Man: Aiyah Bro, just go to Bhumipol, kowtow, ask forgiveness and then ask his advise on how to fix it. End of story.
Pres: Then how come you told the journalist that everything is above board when that was not the question. He never suggested that the process was corrupt. He asked you about apples and you replied about oranges.
Old man: Use your Otak bro. I can't tell him the real reason can I. Remember both Loong and I have got to sleep sometime in the night.

Pres: That what I thought. You know and I know that every private firm and MNC has a general under its payroll but they don’t make press release. Its all done behind the scenes.

Old man: Its getting very depressing. Even Sam wants to get out of Delphi and run it on his own server after the Perry Tong fuckup. I felt bad for Low, so I called him and told him we got a Wee and he got a Tong and they deserve each other.

Old Man: I hope Sam does not walk away. You know the entire civil service reads the forum to get the true feedback. We get the true picture from that forum. Viswa Sadasivan’s Feedback unit is a white elephant. Ooops sorry about the Thai pun.
Pres: Maybe now we can now trace the real sam. He can work for us.

Old Man: Banish that thought. When we first approached him, he said no. We then sweethened the deal, he said fuck off. I called him personally and he told me to take a flying fuck. All we wanted him to say is to mention the PAP in good light every now and then. Sam got his infatuation with Australia, freedom, migration, entrepreneurship, 4 wheel drive, cycling and a Grand Bank Yacth. I could not get one word in without being interrupted.

Old Man: All this talk is making me depressed. How about some supper. I got the perfect place and the perfect dish.
Pres: What, what boss. Mee Rebus is it. I heard the best Mee Rebus gravy is made from mixing cracked Marie biscuit into the gravy.
Old Man: No lah, it’s the dum briyani at the corner of Tanjong Pagar and . The teh halia is also just right. Good combination. Lets take the MRT, I want to try out the new trains. We still have time.

Pres: Won’t the people recognize us.
Old Man: Keep up with the times, Bro. Haven’t you heard, the MRT trains in the late evenings are now packed with cleaners in their 70s and 80s cleaning the office blocks in the CBD so that their sons and daughers can go to work in the morning in nice and clean environment. In my shorts and your sarong, we can easily fit in.

Pres: You mean, they got no retirements savings.
Old Man: Don’t make me more depress. Its coming apart at the seams. Those who got savings must have donated its to the mei meis and Vietnamese streetwalkers. Don’t talk about it.

Pres: So you want mutton or chicken briyani. By the way, I stopped taking fizzy drinks, its gives me too much gas.
Old Man: Can you shut the fuck and move faster, its already 11.55pm and we certainly don’t want to miss the last train.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Mano Sabnani resigns Today - the real picture

by "manosabnani"
2 Nov 2006

122550.1

Hello everyone

I registered this nickname a little more than a week ago after I heard that there were parties inside Mediacorp who were making a move to sack Mano Sabnani as Today's chief editor. Little did I know how ugly it would become.

On the surface, the corporate communications machine of Mediacorp will present everything as very nice and orderly. What you read here will be a reasonably accurate account related to me of what actually happened and not what you will read in Today, Channel News Asia, Straits Times or Business Times.

I had waited until I got a clear picture from my contact before I post this, therefore there was bit of a delay.

Mano is not a bad person. He may be dull and unexciting, even a coward before the civil servants who oversee him, but he was treated as pariah by his peers.

On Oct 31, Today had a senior editors' meeting which Shaun Seow presided. Mano lost his editorial independence not during the recent Mr Brown affair, but some years earlier, during the Val Chua affair. For those of you not familiar with the matter, just do a Google search on Val Chua, Mano Sabnani and you will find a lot of material on the Net. Since the Val Chua affair, Mano had to report to Shaun within the Mediacorp stable. All reports involving cabinet ministers must be vetted by Shaun and his team at Mediacorp HQ, not at Today.

There are no real editors at Today, they are all a bunch of word processors. They send good reporters like Derrick Paulo and Ansley Ng to cover political happenings, then censor and rewrite everything to suit their political masters.

In fact, Derrick Paulo mounted a campaign within the Today office to protest the newspaper's suspension of Mr Brown. He got many of his colleagues to wear brown on a day when Shaun was to give a talk to the staff there. What he did not know was that had severely undermined Mano, who was already being pushed out by the other senior people in Mediacorp. They saw how weak Mano was in front of Derrick and took full advantage of the situation.

Shaun is a former president scholar and his entire career is scripted to perfection. As long as he serves his political masters, his career will be smooth. Even the conviction of Zahara Latif for maid abuse within the Seow household did little more than embarrass him. Goh Chok Tong wrote a letter to support Zahara during her mitigation hearing.

During the Oct 31 meeting, Mano was not able to speak because his ex-gratia payment was held back unless he played ball. Shaun humiliated Mano by paying lip service to his contribution and saying how the newspaper will move ahead without him. Most of the editors were too afraid for their jobs and kept generally quiet as they watched Mano run to the ground and abused. This coming from Shaun, was no surprise, for like Zahara, he is an abuser. Shaun is many years younger than Mano and behaved like an arrogant brat wielding too much power for his own good.

Worse was to come. After a polite round of applause for Mano's three years in the newspaper, they proceeded to the newsroom where Mano's resignation was announced to all the staff. All of Today's staff gathered outside Mano's room. Shaun announced the changes and talked about new directions, while Mano sat inside his room (glass walls) in full view to all the staff, with his face buried in his hands in front of his computer screen.

Somebody in the crowd interrupted Shaun when he felt that Shaun had gone too far. He asked for the real reason why Mano was leaving. Shaun then said that there are many confidential things that cannot be publicised.

Slowly there was a pair of hands clapping, then more and more. They wanted Mano to come out and address them. Mano came out, and keeping in mind that his payment has been withheld, said he had nothing to say. They wouldn't let him go and kept clapping. Mano had no choice but to respond. So he said to the staff that they should not worry about him and move on. His voice was shaking, then he went back into his room a sad and broken man, humiliated and traumatised.

Led by Shaun and director Philip Koh, Today brought back PN Balji, who was the founding editor of the paper. Balji is a much more colourful character than Mano but is of questionable character. Balji is closely tied to TT Durai, the disgraced head of the former National Kidney Foundation. The auditor's report into the NKF fraud and deception showed that Balji was one of the parties who flew first class with Durai. Together with Durai and his gang, they abused the charity's funds, but while Durai is now in the docks, Balji has gotten away scot free because he knows how to butter up his political masters.

More worrying for many of the Today staff is that a new guy named Walter Fernandez was brought in from Channel News Asia where he was a faithful lap dog of Shaun Seow to oversee Today's day-to-day operations. Walter is a scholar and another spineless idiot who is where he is only because he knows how and whose balls to carry.

I will update further when I hear of more developments.


Original Mediacorp Press Release:

Key changes at MediaCorp

Moves in line with aim to become Asia's top media company

Wednesday • November 1, 2006

AS THE world neatly folds into one long, connected information superhighway, homegrown media conglomerate MediaCorp yesterday announced key structural and management changes to position itself as Asia's top media company.

Said Mr Lucas Chow, CEO of MediaCorp: "As digital technology brings about greater media convergence, we ourselves are forging our own media platforms more closely together. The changes we're implementing capture that spirit of convergence."

Among the key changes announced yesterday was the company's move towards providing the consumer with more choices of where and how to consume their news, with an aggressive plan to merge its news operations across television, radio, print, the Internet and mobile devices.

Said Deputy CEO (News, Radio, Print) Shaun Seow, who will lead the integration charge for MediaCorp: "The aim is to serve audiences better by tapping on the strengths of the different media, and creating a seamless experience for the consumer. We want to be the leading English news provider for Asia, and we believe that it is an achievable target."

A committee is looking at the integration initiative, which will lead, among other things, to a "newsplex" housing all the different newsrooms under one roof in MediaCorp's new premises at Bukit Batok.

Mr Murali Subramaniam will leave his position as Today's Associate/Day Editor to take up appointment as VP (Editorial Operations) to assist in the integration efforts from Jan 1, 2007.

MediaCorp's efforts to raise the bar will also come from the recruitment of experienced staff such as Mr P N Balji, ex-Editor-in-Chief of Today, who has rejoined MediaCorp as its Editorial Director. He will assist Mr Seow to improve editorial standards across the board.

With Mr Mano Sabnani resigning his editorship, Mr Balji will be devoting a significant part of his time to growing Today. He will be assisted by Mr Walter Fernandez, fresh from helming Channel News-Asia's International desk.

Mr Fernandez assumes the newly-created No 2 position of Managing Editor at Today, and has set his sights on establishing a vibrant electronic presence for one of Singapore's fastest growing newspapers. Mr Fernandez will work closely with Mr Rahul Pathak, who will continue to be Today's Associate/Night Editor.

Mr Chow said: "By increasing the bench strength of our journalists, we will strive to become Asia's premium brand for news — whether it's in the form of video, audio or text. I am especially proud of the strides made by Today, which has just been pushed up to the No 2 position in Singapore after just six years. Everyone in Today, past and present, has contributed to its success, and I would like to wish Mano well in his future endeavours, even as I welcome Balji back to MediaCorp."

Added Mr Balji: "There is a new leadership at MediaCorp. The statements that have come from this new leadership excite me. As the media undergoes deep and dramatic changes, there is a great opportunity to unify and exploit the different platforms to provide a real information highway.

"Today, the print arm of MediaCorp, can become an integral part of this highway and show that print can survive in a fast-changing media jungle."

Mr Sabnani, who leaves the company after more than three-and-a-half years at the helm as mananging director (MD) and Editor-in-Chief of Today, said he was pleased with the progress the newspaper had achieved during his tenure.

"When I came on board in 2003, there were still questions asked of whether the newspaper would survive or fail," he said. "In our last financial year, we made $5.8 million in profits and we just moved ahead of Lianhe Zaobao as Singapore's second best read newspaper. I am very proud of the team that made this happen and wish Today all the best in its future growth."

Mr Philip Koh, who is concurrently MD of MediaCorp Publishing, the magazines subsidiary, will oversee Today's publishing and business development functions.

MediaCorp is also confident the move will provide synergistic opportunities for its newspaper and magazine publishing.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Tales from the Istana - Part 11 (Sammyboy)

by scrobal
25 August 2006

115631.1

West Wing, the Jade Bedroom, 6.45am - Sun's ray creeping slowing across the room thru the french windows.

Mrs Pres: Deh, wake up, I heard something hit the windows. Can you check.

Pres: Please lah, you are hallucinating again. I did not hear it. Let me sleep another 5 minutes.

Mrs Pres: Aiyoh, I heard it again, someone is throwing stones at the window.

Pres: Let me check.

Old Man: psst, psst, meet me same place but at 10.15pm

Pres: ok

Mrs Pres: What was it

Pres: No lah, just the gardener clearing the ground below.

Behind the Guradhouse, 10.15pm, 22C, cool light breeze, smell of teh gayong drifting from the guardhouse with dash of laksa lemak hanging in the air

Pres: What's up. Why the hurry

Old Man: Sorry, I had to rush for my medical and my calendar was full and had to let you know early.

Pres: You know I alwasy will be here by 11pm if I am not at Ceylon Road

Old Man: Aiyah Bro, I am still under curfew. Got to get back by midnight and I got a lot on my mind.

Pres: What on your mind mind.

Old Man: Its Black Eyed Peas and their song "My Humps" continously playing in my mind. I havent' slept for 2 days. Its driving me crazy.

Pres: I got news for you - you are not the only one. I think half the nation is having that song played in their mind. Boss, but I got to tell you that stacy ferguson is one solid chick. Did you know that she got Red Indian blood in her mixed with Irish or something.

Old Man: Bro, you know I was never into pop culture until I saw fergie and now I am a hip hop fan. Its also easy on our bones as you only have to sway to the beat, no need to lift your feet.

Pres: I know, I know, cool ain't it.

Old man: Shit, Bro, you always side track me. I am serious. What can we do about Mr Brown.

Pres: Boss, you got to admit, both he and Mr Miyagi did a fabulous job with that podcast. Jean Paul Satre will be delighted. Did you know that kids love it but they have no clue but they are delighted that its the PM singing.

Old man: Look, I admit that HL made a mistake raising the Ba Chor mee epsiode, but this guys riposte was unbelievable. We are the laughing stock of the nation.

Pres: You know boss, if you think about it, compared to Mr Brown, Chee is harmless. Instead of chasing him from pillar to post, should have left him to his own devices. He does not resonate with the man in the street.

Old man: Aiyah, my whole world is topsy turvy. No other person including JB or Tang made us look this silly. We need to neutralise this and real quick.

Pres: I can tell you now that it will not happen.

Old man: Why not Bro.

Pres: We have achievers in Govt and in the civil service and we associate ourselves with achievers. Our gauge starts with perfect scores in the A Level and we don't make allowance for raw talent, the committed and the concern. Look how we responded to Mr Brown when his article came out in Today - no class, very brash and very authoritarian. Why do we pay someone so highly for writing trash

Old Man: We had to do it, he played outside the boundaries.

Pres: I know that and I also know that we had to cut him off. However as I said before - there are many ways to skin a cat but we don't have the talent to do it. For Heaven's sake, this guy publishes his family photos on the web. One look and you know he has the model family. We whack like he was dressed in storm tropper grab, with nazi insignias and tattoos. And that is not appreciated.

Old Man: So how Bro. Let him go?

Pres: Let start being transparent. Lets not hold parties in Zouk or to try to act cool, lets not wear white belt, white shoes and try to appear glam. Lets also not tell the people how we catch spiders and play with kampong kids. For christ sake, we got post 65 MPs telling about kampongs when most Singaporeans only remember HDB estates. Lets avoid Laksa, Mee Siam, Koh Loh Mee and Telok Tahu as well.

Old Man: I see your point. Lets not pretend who we are and lets bring in capbale people who might not have the formal grades.

Pres: Lets also give people like Chee a little space, he is a good diversion.

Old Man: You know WP and the rest of the AP have to be careful, they are now playing our game.

Pres: I won't even go there. Parliament has not even sat, yet Sylvia Lim is hopping the limelight.

Old Man: Yah, the media is not favouring us.

Pres: Pleeeez, those assholes buried HL good and proper coming out with the Mee Siam mai Hiam. Which idiot orders Mee Siam by saying that. Clearly they are trying to suck up and they also proved that they they have no clue about Hokkein, the food and what people do. At least HL had more class and sent in a correction. Those assholes still did not apologise to HL for making him look silly.

Old Man: I got a brilliant idea. Its a killer,Bro.

Pres: Oh No, don't try and assassinate Mr Brown.

Old man: No you idiot, lets slowly make him the editor of ST. We will kill 2 birds with one stone. Get rid of balls carrying assholes and put a genuine talent in their place.

Pres: Marvellous. Now I know why you are the boss.

Old man: I always knew I had it. In all my National Rallys, I always uncovered new grounds, did paradigm shifts and people took notice. I was the best.

Pres: Aiyah, you are loosing the plot. Its a digital age, podcast are in and we need the talent to mix music and come across well.

Old Man: Lets start now, I can borrow my granson's audio mixer, get couple of songs and do own podcast, blogs and we are in business. After all, all we do is talk cock.

Pres: Why don't we get Philip as well. He always seems to know the shortcuts. He might even entice Mr Miyagi to cross over

Old man: I want to do it the old fashion way. I am not interested in hiring foreign talent when we have not tried. Look at our Sports. We bring in talent and they are suing us desite doing shit. In sports you can't hide. If you did not win, you did not win and you are loser. No one can cover for you and find excuses.

Pres: Boss, you know I prefer Bon Jovi as the background music and can I be Mr Miyagi

Old Man: Not a problem bro, as along we agree that I will be Mr Brown

GuardHouse 2nd Shift Commander: I am fed up with you two. Everynight talking cock. Somemore, me and my men have to listen to the bullshit day in and day out. Can you guys fuck off from here.

Old Man: Ok lah, sorry, we are going.

Pres: How come you let the fellow get away like that.

Old Man: You are fine one to talk. You know that he has the confidence of both our wives and he is the one who got me the curfew.

Pres: Fucking no peace even outside the bedroom. Lets go have supper. I am dying for you know what

Old man: I too am thinking the same thing. Call Othman on the phone and pick us up at the Western wall.

Pres: We might have a problem. I heard that Mee Siam, Laksa and Bar Chor Mee all finishing fast. We have to hurry.

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