Saturday, November 25, 2006
Tales from the Istana - Part 12 (Sammyboy)
by scrobal
25 November 2006
125046.1
Behind Istana Guardhouse - 11.30pm, 24C, breeze from the NE.
Old Man: Hey, bro, we need to organise our talk cock sessions better. Not good comments from the sammyboy lot.
Pres: Aiyah, we are going to hit 90 soon, what they expect from us. Anyway its a talk cock session.
Old man: Friend, let me remind you that we got image to uphold. Even Choo said our last dialogue was wishy washy.
Pres: Is Choo still addicted to sammyboy.
Old Man: She got nothing to do but also I think she is obsessed with with QXP tarnshing the family name.
Pres: I thought QXP cooled down and its Uncle Yap.
Old Man: Uncle Yap is ok, good heart, really wants to do good for the country but don't know how to go about it.
Pres: Yeah, poor fellow. By the way, heard that hunger strike can drink glucose. That news to me.
Old Man: There we go again, drfiting all over the place. Don't worry, I got this blackberry that has memo features and I have put down the points to discuss.
Pres: Boss, you can't even see the front of your nose, I want to see how you use the blackberry.
Old Man: Shadup and listen Bro, time is not on our side. We need to talk about slums and the GST increase.
Pres: Boss, what slums , where in the 3rd world countries?
Old Man: Bro, right here in singapore. I know, even I got shocked. After Bukit Ho Swee, I thought we cleaned the whole of Singapore.
Pres: What are you talking about boss? Liak bo que man.
Old Man: Did you not hear about the email from the FT that is circulating.
Pres: Where got check email. I just want to retire and you drag me back.
Old Man: This guy wrote an email on an issue and referred as a matter of factly of Outram HDB as a slum. The issue was not the HDB but on another matter but singaporeans who read it, picked it out. The other FTs did not even seem to notice. The shocker was that the FT was from India who had been recently posted here. The Singaporeans were naturally aghast and talked among themselves. Guess what was the verdict.
Pres: What Boss?
Old man: They did agree eventually that HDB neighbourhoods are slowing but surely turning into slums.
Pres : You agree.
Old Man: Nothing to agree bro, just take a walk. It has been slowly creeping up on us that we did not realise it. I knew then that I should not have stepped down. Let this arseholes run this country and they turn our biggest vote catchment area into a slum.
Pres: Keep going boss, this is news to me.
Old Man: You have become an elite and have lost touch with the man in the street.
Pres: But I go to East Coast Parkway
Old man: Because you keep going there, if not one of the penpushers would have turned it into a pasar malam.
Old Man: Just go to any HDB estate. The five foot ways are cluttered. Shop keepers are now displaying good outside their stores. Some have shelfs permanently placed outside. Coffeeshops have extended outside and in somecases are washing their plates and cutlery along pavement. Itinerant vendors are setting up shops along passgeways. Corridors and balconys are now so cluttered even the pigeons have a hard time finding a place to roost for the night. Night markets are common feature, taking up every conceivable space and now encroaching into void decks. Not a blade of grass remains when they leave.
Pres: What the hell are the town councils doing? Shoot the bastards.
Old Man: These guys are constantly dealing with our grassroots leaders who in turn have to please every shopkeeper and businessman. Eventually after saying no, these guys fold. Now that we relaxed the rules on subletting of HDB flats that you now find characters from every 3rd world country coming in.
Pres: Gosh, can't we do something.
Old Man: Bro, I took a lifetime to clean up Singapore, made sure we were spotless, cleared the slums, our waterways, our roads and now we find that the home for the majority of our people are turning into slums. I don't have the energy anymore. So far the newest estates are ok but the rest are going down the drain.
Pres: Are you sure its that bad.
Old Man: Aiyha, Just go to Blk 59, Marine Terrace, Ah Goh's territory, they are washing plates along the walkway. You will be lucky to squeeze through along the shops.
Pres: Now, I get it we are going to increase GST to pay for the cleanup.
Old Man: No lah, don;t you read the papers
Pres: Please, the shitty times. Those guys need to grow balls before I start reading that bullshit.
Old Man: I know, some of them stay in HDB flats and they should know it.
Pres: You got that part wrong. Remember you paid them record salaries that they will caught dead in a HDB flat.
Old Man: Ok, Ok, the GST is to cover the elderly. We are going to have to look after them and the projections for funding are bleak. The questing is whether the funding source is appropriate.
Pres: Why not raise taxes for higher income earners
Old Man: No good, the FTs will leave for HK and lower taxes regimes, our business men will invest elsewhere
Pres: Why don't we cut the pay of all superscale civil by 10%, that would be a massive windfall.
Old Man: Also not a good idea, we spoilt them and its difficult to back track.
Pres: Lets sell the 2 submarines and the annual maintenance fee will go a long way
OldMan: That might help. We may want to sack the dickhead who spent $400K on the renaming exercise and throw his salary in as well.
Pres: Here is a thought, lets get Philip Yeo, Ho Ching and TT Durai. These guys are well known for their financial world.
Old man: You are brilliant. I can see it now. Philip will get an architect to build overnight the world's largest old folks home and call it Floridapolis, TT will have it fully integrated with casinos, clinics, funeral parlours, etc Ho Ching will then get all her american advisors from Goldman Sachs to float the whole thing on the NY stock exchange.
Pres: knowing TT, he will have hubs in every housing estate, all paid for by sponsors and I think I know who the patron is going to be.
Old Man: hehe. Now to see how I can convince Loong.
Pres: Aiyah, just tell Philip. He never ever follows the rule and I don't think he is going to change his spots. Though I can't recall Ho ching ever selling anything before. She is known for buying things and then.......
Old Man: You are right, change of plans.
Pres: What about you.
Old man: Pleasse lah, after Suzhou, nobody believes my bullshit. Sigh!, If only, Keng Swee, Kim Sanand Sui Sen were around, they would know what to do.
Pres: Boss, hungry. stomach rumbling.
Old man: Same here bro, lets head toward Changi point and go for the Nasi Lemak.
Pres: You are talking my language man. How we going to go. No MRT you know.
Old Man: Othman is on the way. We can then stay overnight at Changi Chalet, play sikipauy and then come back early in the morning.
Pres: You are on.
25 November 2006
125046.1
Behind Istana Guardhouse - 11.30pm, 24C, breeze from the NE.
Old Man: Hey, bro, we need to organise our talk cock sessions better. Not good comments from the sammyboy lot.
Pres: Aiyah, we are going to hit 90 soon, what they expect from us. Anyway its a talk cock session.
Old man: Friend, let me remind you that we got image to uphold. Even Choo said our last dialogue was wishy washy.
Pres: Is Choo still addicted to sammyboy.
Old Man: She got nothing to do but also I think she is obsessed with with QXP tarnshing the family name.
Pres: I thought QXP cooled down and its Uncle Yap.
Old Man: Uncle Yap is ok, good heart, really wants to do good for the country but don't know how to go about it.
Pres: Yeah, poor fellow. By the way, heard that hunger strike can drink glucose. That news to me.
Old Man: There we go again, drfiting all over the place. Don't worry, I got this blackberry that has memo features and I have put down the points to discuss.
Pres: Boss, you can't even see the front of your nose, I want to see how you use the blackberry.
Old Man: Shadup and listen Bro, time is not on our side. We need to talk about slums and the GST increase.
Pres: Boss, what slums , where in the 3rd world countries?
Old Man: Bro, right here in singapore. I know, even I got shocked. After Bukit Ho Swee, I thought we cleaned the whole of Singapore.
Pres: What are you talking about boss? Liak bo que man.
Old Man: Did you not hear about the email from the FT that is circulating.
Pres: Where got check email. I just want to retire and you drag me back.
Old Man: This guy wrote an email on an issue and referred as a matter of factly of Outram HDB as a slum. The issue was not the HDB but on another matter but singaporeans who read it, picked it out. The other FTs did not even seem to notice. The shocker was that the FT was from India who had been recently posted here. The Singaporeans were naturally aghast and talked among themselves. Guess what was the verdict.
Pres: What Boss?
Old man: They did agree eventually that HDB neighbourhoods are slowing but surely turning into slums.
Pres : You agree.
Old Man: Nothing to agree bro, just take a walk. It has been slowly creeping up on us that we did not realise it. I knew then that I should not have stepped down. Let this arseholes run this country and they turn our biggest vote catchment area into a slum.
Pres: Keep going boss, this is news to me.
Old Man: You have become an elite and have lost touch with the man in the street.
Pres: But I go to East Coast Parkway
Old man: Because you keep going there, if not one of the penpushers would have turned it into a pasar malam.
Old Man: Just go to any HDB estate. The five foot ways are cluttered. Shop keepers are now displaying good outside their stores. Some have shelfs permanently placed outside. Coffeeshops have extended outside and in somecases are washing their plates and cutlery along pavement. Itinerant vendors are setting up shops along passgeways. Corridors and balconys are now so cluttered even the pigeons have a hard time finding a place to roost for the night. Night markets are common feature, taking up every conceivable space and now encroaching into void decks. Not a blade of grass remains when they leave.
Pres: What the hell are the town councils doing? Shoot the bastards.
Old Man: These guys are constantly dealing with our grassroots leaders who in turn have to please every shopkeeper and businessman. Eventually after saying no, these guys fold. Now that we relaxed the rules on subletting of HDB flats that you now find characters from every 3rd world country coming in.
Pres: Gosh, can't we do something.
Old Man: Bro, I took a lifetime to clean up Singapore, made sure we were spotless, cleared the slums, our waterways, our roads and now we find that the home for the majority of our people are turning into slums. I don't have the energy anymore. So far the newest estates are ok but the rest are going down the drain.
Pres: Are you sure its that bad.
Old Man: Aiyha, Just go to Blk 59, Marine Terrace, Ah Goh's territory, they are washing plates along the walkway. You will be lucky to squeeze through along the shops.
Pres: Now, I get it we are going to increase GST to pay for the cleanup.
Old Man: No lah, don;t you read the papers
Pres: Please, the shitty times. Those guys need to grow balls before I start reading that bullshit.
Old Man: I know, some of them stay in HDB flats and they should know it.
Pres: You got that part wrong. Remember you paid them record salaries that they will caught dead in a HDB flat.
Old Man: Ok, Ok, the GST is to cover the elderly. We are going to have to look after them and the projections for funding are bleak. The questing is whether the funding source is appropriate.
Pres: Why not raise taxes for higher income earners
Old Man: No good, the FTs will leave for HK and lower taxes regimes, our business men will invest elsewhere
Pres: Why don't we cut the pay of all superscale civil by 10%, that would be a massive windfall.
Old Man: Also not a good idea, we spoilt them and its difficult to back track.
Pres: Lets sell the 2 submarines and the annual maintenance fee will go a long way
OldMan: That might help. We may want to sack the dickhead who spent $400K on the renaming exercise and throw his salary in as well.
Pres: Here is a thought, lets get Philip Yeo, Ho Ching and TT Durai. These guys are well known for their financial world.
Old man: You are brilliant. I can see it now. Philip will get an architect to build overnight the world's largest old folks home and call it Floridapolis, TT will have it fully integrated with casinos, clinics, funeral parlours, etc Ho Ching will then get all her american advisors from Goldman Sachs to float the whole thing on the NY stock exchange.
Pres: knowing TT, he will have hubs in every housing estate, all paid for by sponsors and I think I know who the patron is going to be.
Old Man: hehe. Now to see how I can convince Loong.
Pres: Aiyah, just tell Philip. He never ever follows the rule and I don't think he is going to change his spots. Though I can't recall Ho ching ever selling anything before. She is known for buying things and then.......
Old Man: You are right, change of plans.
Pres: What about you.
Old man: Pleasse lah, after Suzhou, nobody believes my bullshit. Sigh!, If only, Keng Swee, Kim Sanand Sui Sen were around, they would know what to do.
Pres: Boss, hungry. stomach rumbling.
Old man: Same here bro, lets head toward Changi point and go for the Nasi Lemak.
Pres: You are talking my language man. How we going to go. No MRT you know.
Old Man: Othman is on the way. We can then stay overnight at Changi Chalet, play sikipauy and then come back early in the morning.
Pres: You are on.
// 2:45 PM 
